I'm sitting in hospital, watching my son play with his toys and I still can't believe he's fighting for his life. We feel the pain of the possibility of losing him everyday. The knowledge that he may not grow to be an old man And have the life he deserves pains us to no end. A day to day battle for him and today is no different. He is still fighting a blood infection that comes with the added fear of it attaching itself to his heart which is all crap. He's back throwing up at night and in the morning only, and I'm so damn worried its shit. They are planning to remove his Broviac today so another one will have to be put in when we return.
On top of all this crap I'm stressing about flying home. On the way over on the 27 hour flight Jayden vomited multiple times, has medications he has to be administered around the clock and I had no help from anyone. Air hostesses are not nurses and they can't help. And when I asked for my husband no one could get him and when they were able it took so long that the drama was over by the time he got there. This was because he and my other children were sitting at the back of the plane. Of course the airlines have no idea how hard this is because they aren't living this bloody nightmare and how fortunate for them. Sitting up there in their wonderful offices with not a care inthe world except for how they are going to have their coffee this morning! How bloody nice for them. I have to wonder if it was them how many strings they would pull to make sure their family was together?.. Mmmm
Sure, jayden and I are traveling business class, we have a medical clearance and he has equipment that has to be running so we can't do economy. But really, was it that much to ask anyway? He's got cancer that's so aggressive that he has a shit chance of survival and he's two! is it so hard that a multi million dollar company can't do that? My god we have had so much help from people who have nothing and a huge company can't? We asked, pleaded in fact if they could up grade the rest of the family so we could be together we even offered to pay if they could give us some kind of discount. But no, that's just not possible, they just can't dig down into their pockets to allow us to be together during a shit time.
I'm really cross today because I'm tired and fed up. I haven't said anything about all this before and just road the waves in the hope that they would come good in the end. Of course this didn't happen and why should I be surprised. We live in a world of greed and more greed, run by huge corporations that just don't seem to care about the little people anymore or ever did?.
In fairness though to airlines, Qantus did offer us free flights over and back all traveling business class together but at the time we couldn't take the flights because of the departure times and the situation we were in with jayden in hospital 24/7. Looking back now I wish we had of been able to, I wish we had of had the time and energy to make it work but I'm not sure how we could have. I approached them since we got here and asked if they would take us back but they too said no? That annoyed me too because it seems that because we didn't take them up on the offer to begin with then it's a case of too bad too sad, didn't take it then so not having it now. In all of this I'm thinking does no one realize my son is so bloody sick and fighting for his life???? Noses put out of joint, too much money to care, and just plain selfish?
I would love to be able to praise one of these companies for putting aside their budgets for a second (not that our flight would affect it) and their egos and just think of my son. It's not going to happen though and there is nothing I can bloody do about it.
I'm not sure if it's the flights, the airlines or just my unbelievable anger about how bloody unfair our situation is. It just really saddens me that there is not more empathy in this world. Us little people are there for each other and we have been so fortunate to experience that from all of you who follow this blog and have helped our family out in so many ways of kindness. But as for the big guns, the ones that could help people the most, well forget it. God forbid they lose a cent of their huge incomes.
So I sit here now watching my son, waiting for the nurses to call him up to be yet again anethasised and in for yet another procedure and I'm feeling so bloody crap it's not funny.
all I want and all I'll ever want is for him to get a decent bloody break, a promise of life, and a promise of a healthy life. Neither of that is a surety at this point and it is truly crushing.
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