Thursday, 9 August 2012

Anger

Anger is a terrible emotion. It runs through your veins like fire and doesn't allow you to think of anything else but what your angry about. If you can't get a hold of it you wind up saying or doing something that hurts someone you love or someone who is just trying to help. Mix it up with fear and anxiety and you have a cocktail for disaster. I have learnt over the years that writing things down when im angry, scared, sad or any awful emotion can prevent me from saying something to someone i love or someone whos trying to help me that I may well regret later. I use to keep a diary as a kid, then a teenager and an adult and treat this forum as such. Maybe that's my mistake.
I do forget that strangers are reading this and my only focus is on getting that awful emotion out so I can focus on my son best I can. He doesn't need to see me angry, sad and upset. He needs to see me strong and getting on with it. My husband, kids, family and medical staff don't need to see it either. They are all doing their best around me and the last thing I want to do is take my emotions out on them.
It's sad to see this angers people. I don't like that emotion or any other that doesn't make us feel good. I don't want others to feel angry and I'm so sorry for that. This forum is just to let emotions out and should t be taken any other way. People have been so wonderful to our family and I mean no disrespect to anyone. I treat this as a diary like I did before but it's not and I see that now.
I will no longer respond to comments made, I can't. I'm sorry.
I will however continue to use this forum to express how I feel and allow my family and friends to know how things are without them having to ring me. That is what it was always intended to do.
Thankyou to everyone for your ongoing support and I'm sorry to those who I have bought out the terrible emotion of anger.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

3 comments:

  1. Leisl you are amazing, you have given us such a beautiful gift, a reminder of what is actually important in life. Thank you for sharing with us. The majority of us just feel love for you and your family.

    Natalie
    WA

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  2. If you angered anyone, they can certainly chose to not follow your blog. Fuck them if they are angry. You have every right to vent in any way possible.
    ypu are amazing.

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  3. I've been following your blog since before your family came to the US and Jayden was treated at ProCure. If there's one thing I learned about emotions through my cancer experience, it's that whatever you're feeling...you're right. If you're angry at the world, then be angry. No one will ever know exactly what you're experiencing, even if they are a caregiver or a cancer patient themselves, so feel the way you feel and never be ashamed about it. Keep being the strong, brave momma that you are and I'm wishing Jayden all the best!!!

    Nicole
    ProCure Warrenville #401
    Chicago, IL

    ReplyDelete