Anger is a terrible emotion. It runs through your veins like fire and doesn't allow you to think of anything else but what your angry about. If you can't get a hold of it you wind up saying or doing something that hurts someone you love or someone who is just trying to help. Mix it up with fear and anxiety and you have a cocktail for disaster. I have learnt over the years that writing things down when im angry, scared, sad or any awful emotion can prevent me from saying something to someone i love or someone whos trying to help me that I may well regret later. I use to keep a diary as a kid, then a teenager and an adult and treat this forum as such. Maybe that's my mistake.
I do forget that strangers are reading this and my only focus is on getting that awful emotion out so I can focus on my son best I can. He doesn't need to see me angry, sad and upset. He needs to see me strong and getting on with it. My husband, kids, family and medical staff don't need to see it either. They are all doing their best around me and the last thing I want to do is take my emotions out on them.
It's sad to see this angers people. I don't like that emotion or any other that doesn't make us feel good. I don't want others to feel angry and I'm so sorry for that. This forum is just to let emotions out and should t be taken any other way. People have been so wonderful to our family and I mean no disrespect to anyone. I treat this as a diary like I did before but it's not and I see that now.
I will no longer respond to comments made, I can't. I'm sorry.
I will however continue to use this forum to express how I feel and allow my family and friends to know how things are without them having to ring me. That is what it was always intended to do.
Thankyou to everyone for your ongoing support and I'm sorry to those who I have bought out the terrible emotion of anger.
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