Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Coming home :)

Jaydens managed to not spike another temperature so we can go home today! Yah!
A few hours or so later and we are now in the car going home.
He's so excited about leaving the hospital and so are we!
He insisted on walking out the door even though he is very wobbly on his feet. Luke took his hand and together they walked to the car like the beautiful close brothers they are. Keeping luke home from school and having him with jayden almost every step of the way has strengthened their bond like no other. Luke looks out for him with the maturity of a boy far beyond his age. I am truly so proud of the person he is becoming but so very sad inside of the hurt he may feel one day.

I'm happy we are all going to be together again. This whole ordeal is made so much more painful (if that's possible) being separated as a family. I had the worst night last night being home without jayden and danny as I missed them terribly. It wouldn't be so bad if they were on a holiday or something fun but I knew he was in hospital and not happy.
Sometimes it is so hard that I feel like I'm going out of my mind. I wonder how much more can I possibly take. My son has a cancer that may and very possibly return any day after his treatment stops and if it does that will be the saddest day of our lives. Our family has to live with that for everyday in our lives for the rest of our lives.
I would swap every dollar, possession and my life to have the little healthy boy he once was back.
Nothing of worth is worth more than that. I don't wish for money in my life, for a new car or home, new shoes, dress. None of that means ANYTHING to me. In fact I hate it all. I just want my son well. I want him healthy and I never want to have to think about cancer again.
But I know that won't happen, that this is life now and nothing can take away the fear, the pain and anguish of knowing my son may die one day.
We are home today, and for that I am grateful. How long I don't know but I am hoping and praying for sometime yet.
What tomorrow brings we do not know but can only hope for good health for my boy and my whole family, for that is ALL that matters.

2 comments:

  1. So happy to hear you are all home together. I hope it is for a long time too xxx

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  2. Good to hear he is home. As parents if our wishes could be real no child would ever suffer :)

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