Friday, 26 October 2012

NG tube out! Yah!

Today danny and I decided we should take jaydens NG tube out. We had been thinking about it for a few days now as he has been increasingly eating which has been brilliant! today it was fast forwarded however as we got some vege juice stuck in it and as the day progressed the blockage seemed to be getting worse. So this evening with Luke looking on and encouraging Jayden all the way, I quickly removed his tube. Luke was so excited to see his little face again and so was I! It was just so beautiful to see ALL of it with no bandage or tube coming out of his nose. Just beautiful. Truly, truly wonderful. Jayden was a little shell shocked as the tube is never nice to be taken pit and he cried for sometime but not for long as we were too excited for him! We raced out to the kitchen to show Layla and dad and they were super excited as well then we went over to our neighbors and Jenny and Mick were ecstatic! They were so happy for him and immediately served him and Luke up some soup! Hilarious. Italians are beautiful people, love their food! Really wonderful. I love his little face so much and I am so glad to see all of it again. Yah!

I have to say I've had a better day today. Not only because jaydens NG tube came out but also because my son Luke received his first merit certificate at school and both Danny and I were there to see it. It was truly magic as previously we have been in hospital and missed anything like that. he was all smiles standing on the stage holding his merit certificate in front of him alongside all the other kids that received one. I was just so proud of him and I don't think I've had a moment like that in so long where I was able to think about one of my other kids without worrying about jayden. for that moment I was truly absorbed in how happy I was for him standing there all smiles. He is truly a beautiful boy and my god I love him to bits. I know him and Layla often feel left out and at that moment watching him standing there I was reminded how little he was, young and innocent. But Both my kids have had to grow up so fast during this awful time and lost their mum for such a huge part of it and in some ways they still have. I just wanted to race up to him there and then and give him the biggest cuddle ever and tell him how proud i am of him and how much I do love him. When he got home later I was able to give him that big hug and tell him that.

I also had a visit from a wonderful friend I've made through all this crap and her beautiful boy. It was nice to be in the company of someone who truly understands this nightmare. Not long after she left I made a phone call to another mum who also understands this mess. I know now that I need to be able to do that. To reach out to others and find my way through this whole mess without completely falling apart.

I'm so tired now and everyone is snoring, exactly what I should be doing. I hope one day that will be easy for me to do, maybe tonight it will.... I hope so.


  1. Hurray! The NG tube coming out is such a huge step and I know will go a long way towards making your lives feel somewhat normal again. I remember when we took Gav's out - we were nervous that he would not be able to eat and drink enough, but he proved us wrong and in such a short time became a pretty normal 2 year old eater. It now seems so long ago and he barely remembers having it now that he is 4. Now that Jayden can have the joy of enjoying food with his family again you will soon forget that you ever had to worry about feeds and calories and soon you will be trying to limit his sweets and coaxing him to eat his veggies!
    I sympathize so much with the pain you have been feeling. I and all of the other cancer mamas out here know just how you feel. It is a battle to let go of that sadness and fear, it will always be a part of you, but you must try your best to believe completely in Jayden's wellness. He is on the road to recovery! It is a long road with many small triumphs and hurdles along the way. I'm glad to hear you have found friends who can help you - I understand your need to talk through your thoughts and all you have been through, and sometimes old friends just can't understand. You are doing an amazing job Leisl, don't forget that!
    Hugs and love,

  2. Great job you guys! Can't wait to see Jaydens beautiful face sans tube ;-)
    Good night Leisl, may you get some good sleep xox

  3. Yayyy.. what a wonderful day you all had, so nice to read your blog. Keep powering on Jayden, and keep stealing those happy, worry free moments Leisl. Love to you all X