Saturday, 26 January 2013

Australia Day

It's the evening and we are all sitting in front of the TV watching a movie. I tried to put Jayden to bed early as he missed his nap this afternoon and he was so tired but he didn't want to be in bed without Luke. Beautiful, cant break the routine. Funny though as only half an hour before he was screaming at him and made him cry. Quite the bossy little two year old with Luke and Luke just takes so much of it. Beautiful big brother.

Jayden put his T-shirt on for the first time today by himself. He is so determined to do things on his own. Every time I try to help him he says "no mummy,by myself". Of course I cant help pulling a bit here and lifting a bit there just to make it easier, but in the end he did most of it himself AND his shorts. So proud of him. He does truly inspire me with his determination to get on with things no matter how difficult they can be. If it doesn't work the first time he will keep on going until it does.

It's an hour later and both Jayden and Luke are asleep. What a difference it made when Luke came to bed. He loves his big brother so much.

Not long before bed I had to give Jayden his supplements and he didn't want to comply. Often he refuses and I have to say its not the best flavoured, however more often than not he does take it. The naturopath added a few more things to the mix like Ribraxx which doesn't really have a flavour so that's not too bad but another one for gut care has a really strong pineapple flavour which he doesn't like at all. So it can be abit difficult at times to entice him to take it. He dug his heals in tonight and flatly refused and I found myself saying that he needs to take it so he doesn't get sick again and go back to hospital. You could see in his face he knew exactly what I meant and took the supplements immediately. I found myself feeling so terribly guilty for saying something that I don't know for sure to be true and worried that one day he will look at me and say "but you said". It was a really awful feeling and I wanted to be able to explain to him the truth as I know it without confusing him beyond belief but I simply couldn't find the words. No doubt I'm probably making far more of this than it is but I just cant stop worrying. Poor little mite. he trusts me immensely and I so hope What i said comes true that he remains well forever and out of hospital. everytime i even right about it, it makes me feel ill. A shiver runs up my spine when I think about it and my mind try's desperately to block it all out. No more mentioning it.

As for his diet we are not doing too bad there. We have finally found a bread that isn't too bad and gluten free thanks to all the amazing suggestions by everyone. Still finding it hard to knock out dairy though as the other kids are ok to have it. Somehow I think we are all going to have to do it if its really going to work.
Somedays are definitely harder than others with his diet but besides a bit of dairy he is doing ok. The no sugar has really been the easiest as we just don't by anything with it in. Kids are hating that but its a good thing and we are glad for the change.

It's Australia Day and I can hear the fireworks going off like they were right next door. At first I thought it was someone on our roof then I realised its fireworks and then remembered it was Australia Day. How celebrations become so less important when your life becomes a daily celebration that your child is still with you. Again, much happier laying next to him right now than watching a bunch of fireworks going off. I might sound dull and boring as well when I say I don't like them at all. Mainly because I think they are a complete waste of money. Millions of dollars spent just to see lights in the sky?? Could obviously think of better ways to spend that money and there's beautiful lights in the sky every night, there stars. Just My opinion.

Their still going and now I hear the sounds of an ambulance or could it be police? I never know the difference. We had a good day today, spent a lot of it with my sister who has now moved down here to live closer to my other sister and us. Very lucky indeed we are. She truly is a beautiful person and my kids love her, especially my boys and especially Jayden. Really nice to have her close.

I need to be sleeping like my boys who are both snoring quietly. I have a lot on my mind but not something I wish to blog now and hope with time i will let it go.

Very tired, but very grateful for another day with my beautiful three kids.

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