Friday, 17 May 2013

Its been three days since I last wrote in this blog and three days thinking of my friends sad loss of her beautiful daughter. Every morning I wake I think of her and others whom have lost their children to childhood cancer. Even though I may not mention these thoughts in my blog everyday, they are there. A day does not goes by where they are not. in my heart and mind these children will never, ever be forgotten. And every morning i wake and look at my little man, and I know how lucky I am to have today. My fear of the future will always be there but I know I am truly lucky to have today and will never take that for granted.


Jayden had an appointment this afternoon to see Dr Nick. It was set right on school pick up so Layla had to pick up Luke and we organised for my dad and his partner to be at home when they got there.

We left giving ourselves 40 minutes or so to get there on time
knowing we also had to speak to a doctor regarding some research. We didn't know what it was all about and so we were a little anxious to say the least. By the time we drove there Jayden had fallen asleep in the car. We waited in the car park for a while so he could get some more sleep but eventually had to go in. Thankfully He transferred easily in his pram and remained asleep as we walked in to PMH. A sick feeling always overcomes me when I walk through those doors and an even sicker one when we reach ward 3b. The only consolation is seeing the familiar faces of nurses and staff whom always greet us with a smile and stop to say hello. Some are obviously more special to us than others and for me it is those that have sat by my side and listened to my cries and consoled me at my darkest moments. Truly beautiful people. For those that were always so kind to Jayden he also of course had his favourites.

Jayden was still asleep when we arrived and the doctor who is doing the research came out to see us with an oncologist we are familiar with named Dr Rishi (not sure of correct spelling). lovely man, we like him a lot.
They went on to explain to us that the research was about the effects of the flu vaccination and another vaccination that's name eludes me right now but its the one that prevents phenomena. Anyway the idea is they first take Jayden's blood then give him the flu vaccination then check 4 weeks later with another blood test as to whether his immune system has managed. Basically this is to see if he will need another booster shot as apparently it is critical he is protected from the flu as his treatment has put him in the high risk if he were to get the flu. Meaning, potentially fatal. Not good.

With that in mind off we went to get his blood taken, and thinking how super vigilante I'm going to go back to being about bugs! All the while Jayden is still asleep.
We arrive at the blood place ( cant think of the correct name right now) and Jayden is finally beginning to stir. thank heavens for that as we didn't want to wake him just before. Danny was still feeling wary about the "research" and when ever that word is mentioned in the same sentence as Jayden's name we are both concerned. However i felt confident this was a necessary thing to do for Jayden's safety.

Fortunately the phlebotomist here are fabulous and as always, quick to find a vein, draw blood and done. yah for these ladies i cant praise them enough. Jayden was of course still very upset by it all and I am certain he is extremely traumatised by his previous experiences.

We left there with a very distraught and scared little man whom was now repeatedly asking to go home. Where we all wanted to be. But back to ward 3b to see Dr Nick. No sooner did we walk in the door than Jayden really amped up the volume and was screaming to go home. Fortunately we were able to calm him long enough for dr Nick to do a quick examination a quick chat about everything and away we went.
Unfortunately we weren't going home just yet and instead had to go into the "treatment" room for a flu shot. When we walked in Jayden was in a full scale state of distress and new all too well what can happen in this sadly familiar room.

Fortunately today it was just a flu shot. He cried the whole time we were there and luckily it was quick, they asked him if he wanted to pick a toy from the lucky dip box but he said 'no', just wanted to get the hell out of there and go home. Which we all did.

It's Friday now and I've spent the morning rushing around doing last minute shopping for my little mans birthday tomorrow. He's turning three!

I'm so excited. I can't wait to see his little face tomorrow morning and I hope it will be everything he would like it to be.
I'm so proud of him.

He's asleep now next to me and fell asleep in my arms. Tells me he loves me every night before he goes to sleep as I do him and we snuggle tight until he falls asleep. That's when I usually have to break away and join the other kids and get them ready for bed. Tonight however we will be wrapping Jayden's presents together. Very excited.

I know that no matter what happens, it's going to be a great day. Whether it pours with rain, thunderstorms or sunshine its going to be great. Because my little man is three. All I can wish for is that I see so many more birthdays. That I'm giving him a big squeeze at his 21st and holding his kids at his 40th.

I so wish for that.


  1. Happy 3rd Birthday Jayden. Hope your special day is filled with loads of fun and giggles :-) and happy 3rd birth day to you mumma, I hope you have just as much fun and giggles xxx

  2. Happy Birthday Jayden! Have fun and laugh, smile and be HAPPY! YOU ARE LOVED BY MANY!!!!

  3. Happy Birthday Jayden! Hope you have a great day!
    Just wanted to let you know that we nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award:

  4. May your day be filled with happiness and laughter Jayden .Happy 3rd birthday. Dear family I hope you all enjoy this wonderful day together enjoy enjoy. love Jo