Thursday, 25 July 2013
First swimming lesson
I Took Jayden to his first swimming lesson today. I had hoped he would enjoy it. Enjoy doing something normal. That we both would enjoy this time.
But it didn't work out that way. He hated it, I tried to jolly him along but he just didn't want to do it and I have absolutely no powers within me to push him. I never could before and I'm worse now. I felt so stressed trying and knowing he didn't want to be there was just awful. when he asked to go home i didn't argue and got him dressed back into his warm clothes. I felt like crying. Just seeing him the slightest bit upset like that pushes every emotional button within me.
I should have known though. He has been scared of water ever since he stopped treatment. We believe its because for so long he wasn't allowed to get his lines wet so no deep baths or swims and we were always paranoid about him getting wet and wetting those lines. i imagine that rubbed off on him a bit and he developed a phobia about it himself. He will get in the water with a lot of encouragement if both his brother and sister are in but will get out just as quickly. Although he did enjoy the pool we went to down south where he could stand and touch the bottom. maybe thats the key. taking him where he has more control of the situation. god knows he's had so little control of the rest of his life, maybe thats just all he needs.
He does love his baths though too so that's got to be a step in the right direction as well. I think we are just better off taking him to the pools with the kids every now and then instead where he can touch. May even do that this weekend.
Anyway it's late now and I just wanted to document his first day of swimming lessons even though it didn't go as planned, he still had a 'first day'. That's something. We tried.
Tired, need to sleep. Hope it comes easily.
One more thing. We did our "what are we grateful for today" around the dinner table tonight and Jayden always says now "you mummy" and gets a fabulous response from me of course for that one, then the kids asked me what I'm grateful for and I started to say " I'm grateful for ..." And Jayden pipes up and says "Jayden! your grateful for Jayden mummy". "Yes Jayden. I'm grateful for you, of course. " Little munchkin. "And all of my kids". I'm so very grateful to have them in my life. Very, very grateful.
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