Thursday, 4 July 2013

Last blog

Its with great sadness that I have decided this will be my last blog entry. It use to be a safe place to vent where i found support and encouragement but recently it seems also a place that leaves me open to criticism also. I wish I had the strength to rise above that criticism but I don't. I have no emotional reserves left inside of me to do that.

I think as it is hard for people to understand me it is also hard for me to understand them. I no longer know a world without childhood cancer, this is my life now.
Everyday I know that I may lose my child one day. Everyday I have to live with that thought. Losing my baby. No parent could truly understand that unless they live it and I respect that. But I am not able to truly understand them any longer either.

So for this reason and others I will no longer blog. If I thought I was only read by people who benefit from my entries as well as my self I would continue. But if those entries bring criticism from people and negative emotions to them then this is no longer worthwhile.

For those family members and friends I will keep updating on my Facebook page that you are all a part of. For those that have followed Jaydens journey I am forever grateful. You have all helped me tremendously and I will never forget that support. Please feel free to email me anytime at leislmales@hotmail.com or friend me on facebook at Leisl Males, and Help Jayden Stone page.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

7 comments:

  1. Oh this makes me really sad :-(
    If this blog helped you then it is really irritating that there are people out there ready to criticise you. I have read every blog you have written- I leave it open as a page in my safari and look forward to it. You are an extremely strong woman who has been dealt a rough hand in life and how dare anyone else judge you for that. Your children are gorgeous and Jayden is in my prayers and thoughts every day. Keep strong- I will still follow you in Facebook land xxxxxx Rebecca Cleaver xxxxxxxx

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  2. Shame on anyone if they have made you feel you cannot express yourself in anyway you choose Leisl. No one has any right to judge you. I thank you for sharing your families journey so far with beautiful Jayden. As much as it has been a cruel and painful turn in your lives, you have helped us to appreciate what we have, and be humbled by what others have to endure. My love to you and your family brave lady XX

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  3. I am so, so sorry to hear this. I hate to think that unfair criticism has come your way for expressing your feelings - and some very hard and difficult feelings - around the trauma of Jayden's diagnosis. It seems that anyone with an ounce of sympathy would understand what a struggle it is to just keep your head above water some days. Truthfully, I am in shock that anyone would think badly of you - but this is one of the negatives of the Internet, it helps us communicate, but also gives people the anonymity to say cruel things without consequences.
    You know that I understand how you feel, and wish for nothing but a long and wonderful life for Jayden and your family! Sending you love and hugs. xoxoxo Erica Spencer

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  4. I too am so sorry you were made to feel like this. Makes me so mad that people are caught up in their own little bubble. Although I cannot personally relate to your experience, I enjoyed reading your blogs and has really put everything into perspective for me - and for that I'm forever grateful.
    I want to thank you for sharing Jayden's Journey with us all. You are truly one amazing mother Leisl, big hugs to you all xoxoxo
    Lou.

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  5. That's a damn shame! I will keep a lookout on Facebook....loads of positive vibes your way....PW

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  6. Oh, I am so mad to hear that anybody dares to criticise you, Leisl, and so sad that I won't be able to follow beautiful Jayden's journey (I don't subscribe to Facebook). He is such a strong little man, surrounded by such a loving family, and it is shameful that anyone would make you feel undermined in sharing your thoughts, feelings and life with us. You are a remarkable woman, whether you feel that way on the inside or not, and your courage, strength and love for your gorgeous son (and gorgeous rest of your family) is awe inspiring. Critical people need to get themselves a life - and butt out of yours - if they are confronted or challenged by the awful reality of childhood cancer. Wishing Jayden, you, Danny, Layla and Luke all the love, strength and positive thoughts. xxx

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  7. I too am disappointed that you will no longer blog Leisl. As difficult as it has been to read on many occasions (because the raw emotions that you express) it has also been an incredibly insightful look into the trauma that is childhood cancer. Thank you for sharing your, and jaydens, journey. Hopefully we may run into you down the river in the future. In the meantime I will enjoy your FB updates. Marianne McGrath

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