Monday, 26 August 2013

Much better frame of mind today, thank goodness.
Jayden got through the night fine and I finally fell asleep after midnight.
He woke up sprightly as ever and you would have never known he had a stressful evening. Kids are truly amazing little beings. Oh to be a child again. I'm assuming the doctor will contact us today but not sure what will be done. It was a tiny bead and could be anywhere now.???

He's well, he's happy and so are my other two beautiful kids and that is what I intend to focus on today.

It's much later and I'm laying next to my little man sleeping. No one saw him today as promised but he seems fine. I was given quite the run around today by the hospitals and to say I was frustrated would be an understatement. By 1:00pm I still hadn't heard from anyone so I gave the ENT department a call. They told be there was no ENT clinic today and no one could or would be seeing Jayden today. Thought that was odd considering they told me last night they would be? was a little concerned as to whether I should be concerned. So I rang Pmh ENT department and they said they should have got the referral instead of Freo as he is a child and it should automatically go to them. Now I'm really confused. So I rang Freo ENT and asked them if they could fax the referral to PMH so Jayden could be seen by them. They said they would. An hour and a half passed and they still hadn't sent it. Many phone calls made in between, eventually found out it was sent but they didn't know the process from there. So I found out the direct fax line, got back to them and asked them to fax it directly there. They said they would. Still no fax then finally someone from PMH chased it up for me. Honestly, they are clearly understaffed and overworked but as a mother it's difficult to understand why your child can't get the medical attention they need and if they don't need it then tell me so. I don't want to be chasing up referrals if I don't need to worry. I certainly don't want to be making a hospital visit either unless its absolutely necessary and I know Jayden doesn't either. Amongst all this I had a phonecall from school saying Luke was sick and I had to pick him up. Poor little mite. He was very unwell and it looks like tonsillitis so off to doctors tomorrow.
Rock on summer, have had a gut full of all these germs.

Jayden's had a good day. We went to gymbaroo and besides a huge tantrum when we left all was good. His tantrums seem to be more frequent lately and I was beginning to think something was up. As I always do with the slightest change of behaviour. The hardest part about them is dealing with them as his parent. He's been through so much and there's an enormous amount of guilt that is attached to that. When he's upset he usually gets what he wants but there are some times where you just can't give him what he wants or he just can't have it his way. It's these times that I find so incredibly difficult. The calm approach with patience is no doubt the best approach but sometimes the situation just doesn't allow for that. Like today when we were leaving the recreation centre and he didn't want to go. Eventually of course we had to and I had to leave with him screaming in the pram. By the time we got to the car he was really going to town. Then getting him in the car was the low point for me. He resisted, kept climbing out, it was pouring with rain and I kept putting him back in and he kept climbing out screaming. I really was at a loss. At one point I was ready to cry with him and throw my hands up in the air. i think for any parent this situation is difficult but when your riddled with guilt and you know if you get really upset with him its going to crush you afterwards, well then its just even harder. And to not get upset is almost impossible. i did growl at him and after the fourth go, finally got him in his seat and belted up but was left feeling like crap that we had that moment.
Poor little man. He was no doubt tired from being up all night at ER and just super cranky about it. More tantrums followed today but fortunately they were at home and we didn't need to be anywhere so we could ride them through.
There's certainly nothing easy about parenting and there is certainly nothing easy about this journey.

I am grateful however that I don't feel like a crazy person today and I'm managing. I went for a walk this afternoon which helps too.

So now I'm ready for sleep and hoping it comes easily. My little man quietly snoring along with danny (not so quiet) and Luke.

Love snuggling up to my little man. Love hearing and watching him sleep. So grateful we are all together. :)

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