One of Layla's guinea pigs died yesterday. Was very, very sad. He was not at all well so we took him to the vet and we had to make the decision to put him down. If we hadn't he would have been in a lot of pain as his stomach had a massive cyst in it which was seen under an X-ray and he would have eventually died.
When I came out of the treatment room without him in my arms and then had to tell her as she stood in the waiting room by the window." he has to be put to sleep", it was truly awful. Her little face crumbled and the tears poured from her eyes. I wrapped her in my arms and I felt the tears stream down my face. The whole scenario loaded with so much emotion, much of which had little to really do with that dear little guinea pig. We stood there cuddled, neither of us wanting to break the hold. eventually the vet came out and asked if she wanted to say goodbye. we went in and Layla saw her little friend for the very last time. very, very sad.
We drove home in silence with the empty cage in the back and all I could think about was my kids. How special each and every one of them are and how very much I love them. How the thought of them hurting hurts me beyond words. Seeing Layla's little face so sad and lost, cut me to the bone. truly gut wrenching.
I love her and her brothers beyond words.
It's the next day and even though she had a rough start to the morning, Layla went to school. I've since picked her up and taken her to Funtracks and she's much better. So nice to see.
Its much later and I'm laying next to my little man. he took longer than normal to go to sleep and I'm laying worrying, yet again. the slightest thing out of the normal and I'm attaching it to something I pray and hope will never happen.
Feel like a crazy person.
I've had a yuck few days. Sad ones but I'm trying hard to focus on the good things. Like watching the kids this evening playing outside together. Altogether. Laughing, enjoying each others company. The best sight and sound in the whole world.
I hope and pray I will continue to experience that joy of the three of them together for many, many years to come.
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