Tuesday, 22 October 2013

It's late but tonight I'm exhausted and looking forward to bed. I'm sitting up however as my daughter has recently become anxious about sleeping. It started a couple of weeks ago and now I stay up every night until she falls asleep. Not that that's a huge stretch as more often than not I'm up anyway but I am worried about her. I'm hoping in time she will be able to get herself back to sleep as normal but for now I'm sitting On the carpet in the hallway by her door so she knows I'm awake and near. I have no idea what triggered it but I'm guessing she has been feeling my anxiety from the past couple of weeks . I was thinking I had been covering it well but children just see through that so easily .

I put my boys to bed much earlier and they were both asleep within minutes after reading books to them. Jayden was complaining of a headache before he fell asleep and then a sore eye and I told him if he closed his eyes and went to sleep he would feel better. ( I had to try hard not to worry about the headache, but I always will ).
I watched him scrunch up his face as he squeezed his eyes shut. Then open them. Look at me and say. "I love you so much mum in the best world ", I say it back to him. He closes his eyes again and I watch him as he falls asleep. Beautiful moment .love my little man.

Luke was asleep within seconds after Jayden and the two of them sleeping is just beautiful.
I had a great afternoon with luke today as I took him to his first guitar lesson. So happy and proud of him. The teacher told me he was a natural and I just felt so very happy and proud of him. Such a great feeling to be happy for him and proud instead of worried and concerned about everything. Love my big boy.

Jayden and I had a good day too. We did some gardening. We planted some vegetables in our garden and he just loved it. Digging the little holes, putting the seedlings in. Magic. Whenever I do something new with him I feel so happy that he's had that experience. I go to sleep at night thinking what we can do together the next day that will add to those experiences. I wish and hope I can give him so many opportunities to experience life and all the wonderful things in it. I really hope and pray I get that time, with all my kids.

So tired now, really need to sleep.....

Tomorrow we have our appointment with Dr Nick and see the report and find out all the details about the MRI from Thursday. Jayden had bloods taken that day as well so we will also get those results.
Hoping everything is fine.

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