Tuesday, 8 October 2013

Jayden's still unwell. I feel like he's had back to back viruses for so long now. Back into the doctors yesterday and into PMH for more blood tests today. My GP is worried he's missed something and wants to make sure there is no infection anywhere.

So first thing this morning we headed in together to PMH.
Jayden being that little bit older is so much more aware of what's going on. He knows the hospital and he knows things happen to him that he doesn't like there. So when we arrived in front of the doors of where his blood is taken his mood changed instantly. He began to cry and wouldn't go in. But he knows he has to and with some coaxing I was able to get him to walk through. We waited reading children's books in the waiting area until his name was called. Amongst the people waiting were two teenagers with their parents. Both from ward 3b. I sat there thinking how this is their life and no one outside of that really knows, understands or gets it. It's so damn unfair. Within the walls of that hospital is so many kids truly battling life and shouldn't be. Struggling when they should be enjoying life.

When Jayden's name was called he instantly started crying and asking to go home. Screaming at the top of his lungs and begging me to take him home. by the time we were seated it took two to hold him still. God I hate doing this to him. Most kids his age wouldn't even know what was about to happen but Jayden is so familiar with it it's truly heartbreaking. Fortunately these women are wonderful and it was over in seconds AND most importantly we were able to go home. So damn grateful for that. So happy to leave.

Jayden was still crying on the way out and didn't settle until we were driving out of the car park and on the way home. Thank goodness for home.

No results yet but hopefully tomorrow.

He's asleep now laying next to me and besides this morning he has definitely had a better day. His cough is still shocking and he's not 100% but he was happy today.

He had a beautiful time with his sister playing this morning. God I love how my kids are with each other. Layla really loves her brothers and is such a treasure with them. Love my big girl so much.

We all had a day at home today and it was really lovely.

I had an awful night last night and the night before. Plenty of tears. The wave was due and it hit hard.
Today I woke up though and time spent with my kids has eased me out of it. Still insanely worried about Jayden but I know I always will. Truly frightened about his approaching MRI date but trying not to think about it every second of the day.

Hoping and praying that everything will be ok. Just want all my kids to be ok. Always.

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