Wednesday, 16 October 2013

On our way

Haven't slept a wink. If I had, it doesn't feel like it. We are up and getting ready to head off. I have done this long enough to be fully prepared so now it's just shower and off we go.

Jayden is sitting at the table with his brother reading books together. I truly believe Luke understands a lot more about this situation than I often give him credit for. This morning their happy sharing a book together. Love my boys .

Had my big cry last night and am glad I did. I was able to join my daughter afterwards to watch the bachelor and get lunches and bags packed for today. I always try hard not to show my fear and anxiety around my kids but I think they are far more perceptive than I give them credit for. But I try. I Always want them to feel safe and secure and to not have to worry.

Jayden woke up with a big smile as always this morning and the first words to come out of his mouth were " mummy i want a cuddle!", my goodness, no problems there. Squeezed him tight in my arms and soaked that beautiful moment up. Took a deep breath in and enjoyed that precious cuddle. A huge urge to cry was in me but I didn't. Gave him a big smile back, told him how much I loved him and we got up together to join Luke and dad.

Jayden later went to wake Layla up and climbed on her bed for a cuddle.

Loves his big sister. Another moment I wanted to cry, but didn't. I can feel the tears inside so desperately wanting to pour out but I don't let them.

We have just left. On our way. Praying and hoping everything will be OK.

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