Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Final results

I took Jayden in for his appointment with dr Nick today to hear the final results from Thursdays MRI. The final report. It was all good. No change. I was so relieved.

I can't truly write how living this life has changed me. For without living it yourself there really aren't words to explain the feelings inside that constantly flick from one emotion to the next and to such extreme degrees. like Living as if your standing on the edge of a cliff face, scared, worried, frightened, as you await news that could make you want to jump. Getting the news that stops you, but still feeling the aftermath of that journey of the waiting. Fragile, like an egg ready to crack. Carrying on with your life for a time , usually quite short then back on that cliff you stand again, stressing, wAiting. Praying, hoping. A constant emotional roller coaster that you never, ever truly get off.

I'm tired. We had good news today and I'm so damn grateful. All I can do is hope with all my heart and every inch of my being that it continues to be that way. And continue to live every moment, every second, with all three of my kids, and appreciate every moment I get. Always hoping and praying I get so many more.


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