Thursday, 30 January 2014


My daughter had her first day at high school today. So very proud. I sat there at the introduction assembly with her and found myself really emotional. the special milestones like today move me to tears as I expect it does to all proud mums. But added to that, is the thoughts of Jayden- will he get to reach this milestone....will I see him go to high school...
Every milestone my older children reach I find myself always thinking back to Jayden and hoping and praying he gets to reach these milestones too. I sat there feeling sad at the thought of that not happening and had to bring my thoughts back to Layla. To the now. So hard to do sometimes.

So to watch my daughter enter high school today moved me emotionally in so many ways. I hope with all my heart I get to witness Jayden doing the same one day. That they all get a chance to live a normal life. I truly hope he is never robbed of that. That none of them are robbed of that.

I rang the hospital this morning after coming home, to get the dates of the next MRI for Jayden. Already thinking about the next one. I can't help it. Desperate to see him clear them all, forever.

I spent the day at home with both my boys today, without my big girl and i really missed her. Hate not having them all together but nice to spend some time with just the boys. They got on really well today as lately they haven't been. I'm really concerned about Luke and how everything has impacted on him. He's acting up a lot and often expresses how much he feels no one loves him as much as Jayden. I bought this up with Dr Nick the other day and he is going to refer us to a doctor at the hospital that specialises in siblings of children diagnosed with cancer. I'm really keen to find out how I can make things better for him.

Today however they were really lovely to each other. Jayden had a terrible fall this evening that left him with a huge egg on his forehead. Of course I panicked and think the worst but Jayden was amazingly calm. We immediately put ice on it and Luke was hovering like a mum around him helping where ever he could. At one point he was laying down with the ice pack on his head and I had to grab something from the kitchen so Luke laid next to him holding the ice pack on Jayden forehead and reassuring him he was going to be ok. Wish I had my camera with me when I walked back in to see This. Just the most precious moment. Siblings. Beautiful. Love my kids to bits.

Later when we were putting Jayden to bed Jayden asked " will it go away when I go to sleep", "yes" answered Luke, "it will be all better in the morning , I promise". Jayden was happy with that and snuggled into bed. I said to Jayden, "you were so brave" and Luke said "yeh! He sure was! He's the bravest person in the WHOLE world".
In our eyes, he sure is.












- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

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