Thursday, 9 January 2014


I've found it so hard to blog lately . I don't seem to have the right words that I'm happy with. I write. Then I delete. Write, then delete again. I'm no longer satisfied with what I write.

Today is no different. If anything, worse. As today I attended another funeral of a child with cancer. And I want to be able to write this blog and get it right. Say the right things, give it the right words. But all I can come up with is, sad. Today, Thursday. A sad day. A very sad day. Another funeral of a beautiful boy, from a beautiful family. So bloody sad.

I'm lost for words. I just don't know what more to say anymore. I wish I could find words powerful enough to truly explain how sad this is. How crap it is that another child I know has died of cancer. So damn sad. Truly gut wrenching. How truly awful it is to see another family crushed with grief. A family I know well. People I truly respect and adore. Kind people. Loving parents. Two of the nicest people I've ever met. Crushed.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for these parents. I know being sorry isn't enough. Not even close. Nothing could possibly ease their pain.

I'm scared. Truly scared beyond belief. So frightened of the future. Trying to live in the moment but knowing all the time that the future is there.

I don't know what more to say. What more can I say that I haven't already. Childhood cancer sux. Beyond words. There are no words. I hate it. I hate it that it hurts so many beautiful families. That their beautiful children have to suffer. I hate that my family is living this journey. That my son has faced such trauma, that he has suffered so much, and that his future is unknown. I hate it.

I'm so sad. Angry. Scared. Frustrated. Exhausted.


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