It probably doesn't help at the moment that my mind is elsewhere.
Yesterday Jayden and Luke went for hearing tests at the Australian hearing centre. Jayden had to have his checkup and I took luke for moral support and also I had some suspicion his hearing may not be the best.
Luke was a wonderful big brother and diligently went first then encouraged Jayden with his turn. It was the first time Jayden had used the headphones so I was really glad I bought Luke to show him how it's done.
They both did the exact same test and they both scored well. In other words, their hearing is fine. The lady testing them was bemused and couldn't explain it. When I asked her if hearing could repair itself she said "no ". Then she said with a worried voice "you haven't been making him wear the hearing aids have you?"
That got me a little concerned and very relieved that we didn't insist on him weAring them. We both sat there for a while confused and she apologised saying she doesn't know how this happened.
Of course its great news that his hearing is fine now, but I can't help but feel a little uneasy about it.
We were told after the first round of mega chemotherapy Jayden had lost his high pitch hearing and so the chemotherapy dose was halved for the next round. After the next round he was tested again and again he had lost further hearing (apparently ).
I know you can only make decisions based on the facts you have at the time but when it comes to my child it's imperative that We as his parents, always get it right.
hearing aids were made for Jayden at a huge cost to the government and fortunately we didn't insist on him wearing them. Had we insisted, we would have been told yesterday to stop putting them in, and he may have found it difficult to adjust as everything would sound so different. Fortunately that wasn't the case And I'm glad we went with our gut feeling and didn't insist on them. We knew he wasn't living in silence, his speech was good and so we had no incentive to put him through anything else that was going to upset him.
Im very grateful that his hearing is fine, I just want to always be sure we made the right decisions for him. Each decision was so hard during his treatment and we live with them everyday. I still torture myself with worry about whether we made the right ones with each and everyone of them. So when I find out decisions were made on false information it makes me feel a little uneasy. But I am very happy he hears well and doesn't need his hearing aids. I can only hope and pray he gets a lifetime of hearing the world around him. Will always hope and pray for that. A lifetime. For all my kids. Love them to bits.
On an entirely different note. When we got back in the car after the hearing test we had a discussion about the dog that was barking from his balcony at us. Beautiful dog and we all thought he was cute and debated what we thought his name would be. Luke then said if he had a dog he would call it kiak and it would be big. And I said "would you like a big dog if we got another dog ? (As we have two small ones)" he replied "actually no mum I think id like a chihuahua" (his sister really wants one of them). While this conversation was going on Jayden was diligently listening and then pipes up " I would like a giraffe! And then we could climb up his neck and slide down his back". Hilarious. Had a big chuckle about that and thought how funny it would be if that's what he had asked for when the make a wish team came over !
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