Monday, 10 March 2014

I had an awful night sleep last night. Anxiety kicked in before I went to bed and I just couldn't sleep. I got up, wondered around the house feeling stressed and scared. Frightened in my own home. Alone. Alone in being awake, and feeling Really anxious, and worried. I finally got myself into bed and snuggled up to my little man. I laid there for what seemed like ages. Nervous , worried and scared. I hate it when I'm feeling like this and it's difficult to snap out of it. Almost impossible. Thankfully sleep eventually came and I woke feeling a whole lot better. But when I'm in it, it's horrible. It feels like there's no end to the feelings and the worry magnifies and takes over my mind and body . Awful . Really awful.

Jayden woke me in the morning with a huge big smile and I just love it. Love his beaming smile in the morning, all day and all night. Best way possible to wake up, a smile in front of my face. With every beautiful moment I feel a pain in my heart. The pain that contains the worry of the future. I try to push it aside and focus on the moment and enjoy it.

We had a beautiful morning spent with one of my dearest friends and her little girl. Lots of smiles, and happiness. Love this family.

We came home around lunchtime as Jayden was getting upset easily, and I knew he was tired. Always feel so sad for him when he's sad. But once we were home and after some nice quiet time he was back to his happy self .

He came with me to pick up Layla and we had lots of fun listening to the radio in the car in the carpark as we waited . Really love this time with him, just hanging out and having a laugh. Love my little man so very much.

And... I took lots of photos !

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