It's Monday night, the end of a long weekend and back to school for the kids tomorrow.
Have loved having them home and am definitely not a fan of the rushing around and getting lunches organised etc. most of all I hate them being away from me. They are growing up so fast .
Luke turned 8 today! Where have all those years gone? I don't know. I feel like Luke has in some ways grown up over night. Like there's a huge gap in his life that I totally missed out on. In many ways I have and continue too. I'm always thinking about Jayden and worrying about him, fussing over him and Luke I feel, gets left behind. I don't mean it to be that way and I try very hard to be conscious of it. I'm getting better but I feel so sad that he had to miss out on so much in the beginning of this nightmare and I will never forget that. He's a tough little cookie and I know he will get through but I wish I had of been there for him when he needed me.
And he turned 8 today. So proud of my beautiful little man . We threw him a wonderful party but for the most of it I think he just wanted to play with his new toys on his own in his room. In fact that's what he did for some of the time. He's a sensitive little man full of emotions like his mum, and a worrier like his mum. I love him so much, I wish I could take his worries away.
We took some beautiful photos but I haven't had a chance to put them on my computer to then put them on here, but I will, when I do.
Jayden is still unwell but you wouldn't know it as he played with his mate today at Luke's party. To me though, I knew he wasn't himself. He just didn't have his normal look. Not to me anyway. His eyes were sleepy and his face slightly puffy. Just not himself. He's still running a temp but not as high as the previous nights. We had the doctor out to see him yesterday and he said his ear infection had cleared but his throat and cold is still lingering and I'm hoping and praying that's all it is.
We laid in bed tonight and talked about Luke's birthday and how he was now 8! He was very chuffed. Jayden asked " when will I be 8?" Luke said in four years time.
I laid there with a lump in my throat, thinking, please, please please, let us see him turn 8. Let him be 8. Please. Let him grow old. I hope and pray with all my might for that. For all my kids to grow old and be happy.
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