Tuesday, 20 January 2015

I got the phone call today about Jaydens MRI fasting times for his MRI this Thursday. It's an unscheduled one. I haven't blogged about it because I haven't been able to bring myself too. I've been trying to get my head around it all or should I say, trying not too. Trying to pretend it's not happening and if I don't talk about it maybe it will all be ok. Just go about my business and all the bad thoughts and scarey scenarios will disappear. Of course it's not that easy to pretend it's all fine and my levels of anxiety are at an all time high.

Just over a week ago Jayden woke in the morning and shortly after breakfast he vomited. I wouldn't worry if it was one of my other children but when it's Jayden it's sends my head into a tail spin. Vomiting in the morning was one of the things Jayden did when this all started.
I am terrified. Truly terrified.

The nurse on the phone told me he's on the list for 11:00am. She told me the fasting times and when to come in. When I put the phone down I felt numb. So scared that I couldn't feel. Now it's the evening and as exhausted as I am I can't sleep.

I lay in bed watching my little man sleep. So peaceful. His "soggy" doggy tucked under his arm and his little face so innocent. I just love him so very much, as I do all my kids. They are truly so precious.
My heart aches. I'm So scared.

Hoping and praying with all my might that everything is going to be ok. I so hope and pray for that. Please, please, please, make it all ok.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

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