Sunday, 1 March 2015

A quick update

It's Saturday morning and I'm sitting outside watching my little man playing in the sand which was once grass but over time the boys have turned it into their favourite play area. It's especially Jaydens favourite spot to be.

Jaydens doing well and I'm so very grateful for every day of that. He makes us smile and laugh and brings joy to our lives everyday.

I love being able to see him do normal things like playing in the dirt. I will never forget the times that I prayed he would be able to do those normal things that boys do again. Watching him so sad all those days, weeks and months in hospital sitting in a bed a not being able to play like other kids his age were doing. And knowing now that their are many kids doing that right now, sitting in hospital beds instead of playing like they should be. And also knowing many parents who no longer experience the joy of watching their kids play. I am so sad for everyone who is travelling this journey.

So I will never stop being grateful that Jayden is able to play now. That he is doing what kids his own age should be doing, and not spending it within the walls of a hospital room.

We recently went to pmh for our appointment with Jaydens oncologist, doctor Nick and as always we saw many new faces in the waiting room. It saddens me to know so many more families are being told those dreadful and shocking words "your child has cancer" truly crushing.

On this visit, for the first time Jayden did all the examination without sitting on my lap. He's clearly beginning to see this as normal for him, which is sad. He sat on the chair on his own as Dr Nick checked him over and then on the examination table. It is however, So nice to see him trusting again.

His results were all good with no change in his MRI from the last one. We will still send copies to Chicago as it means a lot to have a second opinion and to know there's others looking out for him. They were so wonderful to Jayden when we were there and continue to follow his progress and be of a huge support. We love them all dearly and always will.

So I'm sitting here now watching Jayden play with his trucks, talking to himself and getting extremely dirty. Love my little man. He's so precious to me. We are surrounded by chooks scratching, the rabbits stretching their legs for their morning run and guinea pigs grazing on our front lawn. We haven't had to mow it since we got them five years ago. So very grateful for this moment, and all the moments I have with my kids.

Since I last wrote a lot has happened. Firstly we changed jaydens kindy. He now goes to a different one a little further away than the one he was at but both he and I are much happier. I couldn't really put my finger on why exactly I didn't like the first other than to say neither him or I were completely happy about it. It's just so vital to me that the time he spends away from me he is happy. He's special, special to me and I want him to be cared for with the same feelings in mind. So now we found a kindy that is perfect for him and I'm so much happier to see him happier.

I worried about the decision to change at first as it's difficult for me to know if I'm acting on emotions and just being super sensitive as I'm not exactly operating at a normal level most of the time. Anxiety drives me mad and often blurs my thinking. But I'm glad in this instance it was more my gut talking than my anxiety. And I followed it.

Our chickens joining in with the play with Jayden. And jaydens awesome bed hair! Love this look in the morning.

Jayden picking up one of our chickens to put back in the pen. It's so cute to watch as he's so very gentle. He carries them slowly to the pen and when he puts them down he does so, so gently. They really trust him and never struggle when their in his arms. Just gorgeous to watch. He loves all our animals and I know they love him too. He's the same with people and his friends. The other day when I picked him up early from kindy he told me how worried he was for his friend who had to be there all day and he didn't think he would have anyone to play with. He then when on to ask me if he could spend the whole day there next time so his friend wasn't on his own. Beautiful big heart.

Other things that have happened are special moments with Jayden and my other kids. So many times I've thought I must write that moment down in my blog so I never forget but then I go to pick up my phone and realise by doing so I will miss another moment.
And I don't want to miss any.

I wish I could say life is getting back to normal and how it use to be but I know it never will be and this is the path we are now travelling as a family whether we like it or not. We will continue to hope everyday that this path continues to be travelled with us all together, and hope that we all remain in good health.
Everyday we know is a blessing and everyday we are grateful for.

It's Sunday morning and I can hear my boys laughing outside as they play. Truly the best sound in the world is my children laughing. I look outside the window and see them playing in the sandpit under Jaydens make a wish cubby. He loves this cubby, all the kids do.

It's been a really lovely weekend so far and today we are off to dannys parents house for lunch. I'm so grateful for my awesome in laws. I know I'm very lucky to have such a supportive family.

It's a public holiday today so all my kids are home. Love days like this.
Love my kids.

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