It's the start of the second week of the school holidays and I so wish it were the first again.
Easter was really lovely, the kids were so excited. So nice to be all together. I will never stop being grateful for that.
When I set up the easter hunt I remembered the Easter jayden wasn't here but instead in hospital. Only one of us could stay and The other be home.
I remember the kids being excited but not one piece of me could be excited with them. It's those memories that are a constant reminder to be so grateful for today, and I so am.
Jayden has been well and happy. I'm always obsessed about his well being and stress so much when he's hurt or sick in any shape or form. If it's a normal boy thing like a simple fall or trip and graze on a knee or splinter in the finger, I'm worried but also grateful that he is able to do normal boy things. But if he's pushed by someone else or he's crying and I don't know why, I'm totally beside myself. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to explain exactly except that sometimes I know my emotional reaction to these things is intense. I wind up crying later in a room on my own because the experience hit such raw nerves of not being able to protect him, that keeping it together in the moment is so hard.
Feeling very fragile today. We have had an awesome start to the holidays and I'm so grateful for that. But I can't help but feel extremely emotional about jaydens upcoming procedure and most of all, his MRI. It truly never gets easier.
I'm not going to focus on those emotions though and instead post some photos of the wonderful time we've had together over the holidays, easter and our beautiful new edition to the family, jaydens little puppy he named "coco".
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