Friday, 24 April 2015

Home schooling

I look back on my entry's these past couple of months about jayden and kindy and I read how up and down I am. It stands out to me that some days are ok and others are just plain crap. And that's actually it. That is how it is. when jayden had his first day at kindy it was great. But by the third it was not, far from it. So I changed his kindy and at first it was great, then it wasn't. Both of us were trying to do something that's considered normal yet realising we aren't normal and to fit us into the normal mode just isn't going to work.

In fact this whole kindy thing has been way more difficult than I had anticipated and emotionally it has taken a very real toll. Both of us struggling to do something that is normal but our situation just isn't normal..

On top of this his brother seems to miss out entirely of anytime with me and I forever feel torn between the three and feeling as if none of them get as much of me as they deserve to or I of them.

So after much thought for sometime and particularly as the school holidays ended I realised I just couldn't keep going like this. So I did some investigation and sent a few emails off and come Monday the first day of school back I kept my boys home. Because I made the decision to home school them. Layla had the option too but she wanted to go back to school which I'm so proud of her and I'm also so happy to be able to give her options. Luke of course was wrapped he was not going back and jayden just loves being with Luke. It was a huge step to make and a little scarey but it just felt right and so I went with that feeling.

It's been a week now and it's going great. I can honestly say I feel as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

In these past few days I've smiled more and laughed more than I can ever remember. Being with my boys and being their teacher and mum is truly the best job in the whole world. Loving this time!




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